Do-Over

Dear Baby,

This morning I was scolded by your Aunt Erin. She told me that one day you'll be my 4th blog reader and you may not like what I had to say yesterday... she's probably right, and while I can't say that I didn't mean it (because I was feeling really crappy yesterday), I think I may be able to explain a few things...

First of all, husband and I are really excited about you. We talk about you every day and now I find myself touching my stomach all the time. Just a reflex really, since you're not very big yet (around the size of an apple), but nonetheless, I like knowing that you're there. And as much as I complained about feeling sick and being pukey, I think I'd rather have that than have no symptoms because at least I know you're still there everyday!

Here's the thing... people who have had children (and your Aunt Erin) get so unbelieveable excited when we share the news with them. They jump up and down, they cry, they scream - it's crazy for us - and we get really excited when we see those reactions because we know that means only great things are in store for us. People with children say that you can't comprehend loving some one so quickly, so immediately, so completely and so unconditionally. I guess husband and I are in that phase of not being able to comprehend it yet...

So Baby, I am excited, it's just that it doesn't really seem real yet and the only 'real' thing about being pregnant so far is being sick and pukey, which isn't that much fun. My mom keeps saying that I need to be happy during this time so that you'll come out a happy baby. I personally think that after making me so sick for this long, you should just come out happy because it's what I deserve, but I'll try and cheer up. I'm going to allow myself to be miserable and sick this week, but then I'm off to New Mexico for the weekend for a super fun wedding. And next week, I think things will be better. We're going to be looking for childcare for you as well as starting to clean out the spare bedroom (also known as your room). Maybe then you'll start to be a little more real to us...

I'll keep you updated - but seriously, if you could stop making me sick and stop getting so grossed out at every smell, things will be easier for me... thanks Baby...

Love, me